In which I live again!

Sorry for the period of silence, it’s been a bit of a series of (minor) unfortunate events around here. But all is well.

Some minor life updates:

-Frankenstein has a new shiny silver replacement that I ambitiously named Lucky. So far it hasn’t lived up to it’s name.

-Windows 8 is now the bane of my computer existence. I have been known to shake my fist at the heavens and yell ‘Curse you, Windows 8!’

-It’s almost my birthday, I almost can’t remember what it’s like to be excited to get older. Does this officially make me an Old? (Nooooo, irresponsible teenager forever!)

-DRAGON AGE INQUISITION CAN’T COME QUICKLY ENOUGH (my family advises me against going into the future to get a copy, because I could accidentally start a plague with future germs and in the current era a digital copy wouldn’t work ahead of it’s release date anyway. Yes, this was an actual conversation we had.)

-People who go to library book sales on opening night are INTENSE people. Also books are very heavy when they are stuffed in bags in the hundreds.

-There has been an exciting development in the SECRET PROJECT. I am very excited. We will unveil the veil of secrecy on the project soon. 

One of the things I was doing when I was not posting here was I came up with an idea for a new story. I don’t know when I will work on it for real/finish it, but for now I wrote the beginning. As a special forgive me for not posting present, I present my very first snippet of this brand new book tentatively called ‘Any Planet But Here’

200

Chapter One

In Which I Am Expelled (Again)

            It was hard to sit still when you had a genetically modified Snarrflebus shoved down your pants. It was equally hard to keep a properly repentant expression on your face when Mother Abadess was giving you one of her famous lectures on righteousness and duty. Of course I was only motivated to do the first one. The second? I couldn’t care less.

            “…outrage! I can hardly believe that one small human could cause so much trouble! I’m sure the gods are horrified!”

            “If your gods exist, I’m sure they have better things to do than care about, as you so kindly pointed out, one tiny little human.”

            Her hair tentacles pulled back and hissed in outrage. I could totally see why Old Earth had mistaken one of her people, the Greevth, as some sort of cursed monster murdering everyone who looks at her.

            “I see I shall have to add blasphemy to your list of crimes.”

            “I’m pretty sure an agnostic can’t blaspheme,” I muttered.

            “And the list is many! Public displays of flagrant emotion, destruction of property, serving as a bad influence on the other students, violence, insubordination! Why, if it wasn’t for your mother, you would never have been admitted to this venerated institution at all!”

            The snarrflebus whuffed and tried to readjust itself, which I’m pretty sure meant it was trying to borrow directly into my skin. “Shh,” I hissed in sharp warning. “If you know what’s best for you, you will stay quiet!” No one had any idea I had stolen the little bugger, at least not yet. If he got caught, he would be unmade in two blinks of a Kyvish.

            “What?” Mother Abedess demanded, her face darkening into a blotchy midnight green. “You dare threaten not only an authority, but an Abedess?”

            Obviously any idiotic with more than one brain cell could tell I wasn’t threatening her, she was about as dangerous as an angry cuckaburro. But I couldn’t exactly explain my case, not without telling her it was a warning not a threat and it was for the level 2 forbidden genetic anomaly stuck down my pants. And no, that wasn’t a dirty innuendo.

            “Insubordination, threats-” okay, so clearly we hadn’t moved on from the listing of my sins part of the program, “-flagrant disregard for your betters, vandalism, theft-“

            “Liberation,” I corrected. I didn’t consider it theft when the creatures I ‘stole’ were living beings being tested on in horrible conditions for a stupid ‘science experience’.

            “-Theft and now assault! Do you have anything to say for yourself Jeyma Oberorn?”

            “Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves. Or borked androids, whatever floats your tentacles, lady.”

            Her tentacles weaved and bobbed furiously. “GET OUT!”

            I perked up. “Of your office?”

            “Of this academy!”

            I grinned. “I’m suspended?”

            “You are expelled. I have never been cursed with such an impossible student, offensive in every manner possible! I sincerely pray you never darken our floatways again.”

            Green eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes, black eyes, silver eyes, gold eyes, giant eyes, little sensory holes for eyes, they all peered out of the plastiglass windows of the classrooms to stare at me as I was hastily escorted out. This wasn’t my first walk of shame. It wasn’t even my second. By now, I had it down to an art. I forced my tiny (even for a human) stride into a swagger and put on the patented cocky grin that irritated so many of my previous instructors and minders and gave my erstwhile old classmates a three fingered salute, much to their horror.

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Until next time, same hypothetical readers, same hypothetical place. 

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